learn

There is this weird voice in my heart that tells me I should know how to do everything right. It implies that I know everything already. The feeling that if I want to make God happy with my life then I should always get it right.

Sometimes I need to remember that I don’t know everything and that there is a lot of nuance to the things I do know which I still need to learn. Making space to learn these things is becoming more important to being.

take a step
learn what happens
take another step
learn what happens
take another step
and learn more

and if you fall
pray for help
and learn some more

and sometimes you need to learn more than one thing
so be patient and let it come to you
let the lesson come to an end on its own
you can be ok with that too
the right things happen
i love you son
you are good enough
you always were
i will always be here to help you
i helped before and will do so again

you can rest and know that is it good for you to rest
rest my son
i love you
i will hold you in your pain
work and kids and in-laws need work
the hand needs to rest more
allow the pain a bit more
write and cry it out
fold into the pain
and let it take you longer and deeper for a bit
you need to cry and release

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